A son's compassion

I believe some of you know that we are about to embark on an adventure down to Honduras. Eric's mother was raised in Honduras and most of her family still lives there. Eric spent many summers in Honduras and he wanted to share some of this with Evan and I. For our first voyage there, we will be spending time in both Roatan and the capital Tegucigalpa. (See a map) His Mom will be traveling with us, which I think will really add to our travels.

I'm pretty excited! Evan and I have been discussing some of the different things that we might experience on our adventure. He especially loves bananas right now and I'm so glad because those come from Honduras.  So I know we'll be able to find plenty of those for him to eat. One thing I did in preparation (after my wise brother mentioned it ;-) was to check out the CDC website and receive some additional vaccines and medications to protect us from some of the health situations that we do not come in contact with, here in Chicago. Tuesday we went to see Evan's doctor and he received his shot. He does fairly well with his shots, as we talk about it a lot before hand. That it will most likely hurt because the needle pinches when it goes into his skin, that it's okay to cry when it hurts, that I'll be with him the whole time and that it most likely won't hurt for very long. We also talk about how these medicines help our bodies  stay as healthy as they can. You might think that is a little much for a 13 month old, but his response says it all to me. He cries for a minute and then is able to calm himself down and be good to go and his smiley self, before we leave the room. I love that about him and I really like telling him about the whole process.

Well today, it was my turn. I had been telling him how I would be getting a shot and he wasn't going to get one today, that it was just for Mommy. The time came and the nurse came in. I was holding Evan in the opposite arm that I was going to receive the shot in, for obvious reasons. I still like to look away when I get shots, hey it works for me, I know it's coming, but I don't want to actually see it happen. He was staring at the nurse very intently, watching what she was doing as she cleaned my arm. Then came the needle and as she stuck it in, he started to cry. It was amazing! I choose to believe that he was crying for me, that he was worried for me and he knew that it might hurt. He was demonstrating compassion for his Mommy and I was so very proud. You might read this and feel he was thinking something else, but the nurse and I watched it all and were both pretty amazed at how he really seemed to empathize with me and my getting shots. Again, I choose to believe this.

I am so thankful to be Evan's Mom and he made my heart smile again today! It never ceases to amaze me how much children can process and feel, if we give them a chance to. It reminds me to keep slowing down, what the heck am I hurrying for!


Here are some recent pictures of Evan from a trip to Indianapolis to celebrate my Dad's 60th Birthday. Happy Birthday Dad and Grandpa!

Hello!

Grandpa's eyes might be closed, but I'm all smiles.

Still closed Grandpa! 

Family time

Understanding Mom Friend Vows

The world of Mommy blogs and Facebook is abuzz at times as Moms and parents in 2014 try to identify with the feelings they have about all of the many choices in the world today. Many of them that get circulated, at least to my inbox or newsfeed, are positive and are trying to break down some of the hypercritical judgement that I think most everyone feels these days. Although I enjoy many of them and feel they are in the best spirit to help us be more understanding of each other, I do feel at times that they fall short.  As I was thinking about this and my own friendships, new and old, I felt like I needed to write some vows to my fellow Mom friends, to both my current friends and those whom I hope to meet and make in the future.

What is a vow? A vow is a solemn promise, according to my Google search for a good definition. In my mind that means, a serious promise, one that I, the person making the vow, will not take lightly.

So these are my vows to you, fellow Mommy friends:

Understanding Mom Friend Vows

• I vow to not give advice, unless it is solicited.
• I vow to remember that what has worked for me, with my children, is a sample size of 1 (God willing it will be more than one in the future) and therefore it is statistically insignificant and does not make me an expert.
• I vow to respect you and the choices you are making for yourself and your children. Unless I feel that your child's safety or emotional well being are in danger, I will make every effort to respect you as a parent.
• I vow to be honest with you. If I choose to do things differently than you, I will respectfully voice that. Our friendship doesn't have to be based on our agreeing to raise our children the exact same way.
• I vow to acknowledge that my parenting choices are based on the fact that my family is made up of 3 (currently) unique individuals, who all have different experiences, opinions and feelings. And most likely your choices are based on this fact as well. 
• I vow to minimize judgement. Most likely I will fail here, because I am human and to me that means being an imperfect being. As a human being I make thousands of judgements a day, which are very necessary for my survival and existence, so to turn off my judgement, is very hard. Yet, I vow to be consciously aware of this and to do my best to not let my judgements effect our friendship.
• I vow to demonstrate my parenting style by respecting you as an individual and a friend.

Let's be better friends!

I wrote this with Mom friends in mind, but I think it could apply to Dads, parents and any relationship.