Evan and I are in Indianapolis living with my parents. Along with all of the things that the Crawford (Wantuck & Lanham) family is working through, I now realize that I had not dealt with baggage from my past. There were some toxic people, ideas, memories and broken dreams, that surprisingly to me, came flooding back when Evan and I set up shop, down here at 5446. It's been a shocking month, not good or bad, but shocking, for me. I thought I moved away for school, jobs and life, which I did, but instead of dealing with this baggage, I buried it. I have found that when I bury pain and hurtful experiences, these things aren't really gone, they get to come along for the ride of my life.
I think somewhere along the way adults want to help children learn that 'life is not fair'. I think this is a great lesson to learn and it is the TRUTH, or at least it has been in my life. However, I believe we do our children and ourselves a disservice, if we think that it is only true in our life and not in everyone's. Myopic, if you will. How we think about and teach this lesson is also important. Somewhere along the line, I believe I started to believe this notion to an extreme. That we naturally have to give things up as we get older. I would challenge that notion and say I have to carefully choose my priorities and choose what I spend my time doing, but I don't have to give up anything I don't want to. I do have that control, if I am courageous enough to take it.
When I ran/walk/jogged the Derby half marathon the other weekend, I was reminded of this, as I saw many folks older than me, running in front of, alongside and behind me. When I do that type of event it reminds me, that I need to push the envelope for myself a bit. So I'm nearing 35 and my friend Kacy and I still joke/dream about taking on the world's elite in sand volleyball in Rio 2016. She would be an awesome teammate, by the way! I now firmly believe that if she and I really wanted to go after that, we could and we would do fairly well. Boastful, you might be thinking, maybe? Quite frankly, I don't think we have some super talent, but we have learned the nature of hardwork, of perseverance, of dedication and I do think we could do it, if we choose to. If not Rio, there is always Tokyo!
I leave you with a few questions:
Did you let your dreams die because somewhere along the way you were told you had to, to grow up, to 'be real'?
What if the real secret to life is that you don't have to do that, if you don't want to?
What if you actually have control of pursuing your dreams, no matter what your age?
That is all.
Sara
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| Dream: Being a weight lifting train conductor |
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| Dream: Riding a horse at work all day |
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| Dream: Hanging out with his Mommy whenever he wants to |
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