Not all days are good.

Ah, to admit this is true, seems to be very rare these days. It's as if no one wants to acknowledge that life isn't a glossy magazine photo, or a wonderful highlight reel shared with the world via facebook. I was reminded of this when I was talking to a girlfriend, who is pregnant. She was saying how her boss keeps asking her how she is doing, but she is sure he doesn't want to know the 'real' answer. If she did give him the real answer, she would take their professional relationship to a whole new personal level that she is pretty sure neither is ready for. So, she says, "oh fine", but chuckles, because on most days, that is not true. Isn't that the truth. Most days are not fine, but no one wants to be seen as a complainer. Does saying your day isn't great or fine, mean that you are complaining or mean that you have a good grip on your reality?

In hopes of being real and sharing a bit, yesterday was a very long, not fine, kind of day. Evan is usually pretty helpful during his diaper changes. Most of the time I can talk him through lying on his back, keeping still, holding his toes and lifting his bottom, as we work through the process. However, all diaper changes (I think we had seven) were a struggle yesterday. He did not want to lie on his back and was flipping over, again and again. Ten or fifteen minutes for an activity that should take 5, at the most, is frustrating. I was able to stay calm and patient, through most of them, first acknowledging what he was doing and then lying him on his back again, over and over and over again. It felt like this was all I did yesterday! By the time I was helping him get ready for bed, I had had it. Luckily, by some grace, Eric came home from work, much earlier than usual, and was able to finish up the bed time routine with Evan. Whew!!

Even when thinking about our not so fine day, I am able to think of some pleasant moments.

1. When Evan grabs my thumb with his little hand and opens and closes his hand around my thumb. I see him thinking seriously and contently, looking at how this is happening.
2. We had a great dinner together, there were no major outbursts during feeding.
3. We read the ladybug book together and he flipped the pages, gently.
4. He was content and patient during our Target trip.

So, I think it is in acknowledging the fine, and the not so fine, of my life that I am able to be more calm. By not sweeping the challenging or frustrating moments under the rug, I give myself the freedom to say, "Yes, this is happening." However, by not allowing these challenging moments or days to be my only focus, to step back and see some of the bright spots, I am able to keep perspective. I think that is helping me enjoy the journey a little bit more.

Hope you find some bright spots today!

I'm enjoying my puffs.